Listen, I am not cool. In fact, its safe to say that I am a total cornball. I am a firm believer in superstitions, horoscopes, hallmark holidays and morning affirmations. I tend to write a particularly long list of affirmations around New Years, when I both expand upon previous resolutions and generate new ones for the coming year. I recently looked back to my list I had crafted this past December, which helped me recognize my mistakes in the last year and realize the type of woman I want to be (and I’m doing pretty well so far!) By having that list to look back to whenever I am in doubt, I have avoided making the same errors and have created some amazing goals that I think others can relate to.
From that list, I have created a list of highlights which I believe serve as an appropriate foundation for my new section, “She.” It embodies everything that I hope will come from this section as I delve into the complex topics of dating, love, sex, and relationships as they pertain to millenial women and strive to promote confidence and strength amongst women. While this may not be your ideal woman or your views on what “femininity” and “womanhood” means (everyone has their own definition), I hope maybe you find something to relate to and take away from it. Feel free to add your own as well.
So, who is She?
To me, above all else, She is confident and secure in her self. Be it at school, work, in life or love, she knows what she wants and is not afraid to go and get it. She is adventurous and open minded to the many opportunities that exist outside of her own life. She is not afraid to stand out or bend the rules around her when she deems fit, and never does anything that makes her uncomfortable. She can sometimes be very direct and open in her defiance of social norms, while other times she is mysterious and moves discreetly in silence. She holds true to her own beliefs but knows when to speak and when to hold her tongue. She does not believe everything that she’s told, and knows that the concept of “right” and “wrong” is not so cut and dry. This allows her to live freely and fearlessly.
She has a strong support system around her of friends and family and she enjoys being sociable and exploring the world around her. She is a great friend and does not judge those closest to her and is always there to lend a hand. She does not rely on anyone, but she is willing to ask for help when necessary. As much as she loves to spend time with others, she values her alone time and independence. She knows how to be comfortable in her own skin and is not afraid to be alone. She has had her fair share of experiences (good and bad), but she is not resentful or angry. Instead, she uses these experiences to help her learn and grow to avoid making the same mistakes twice (though sometimes she might).
She does not necessarily “need” anyone, but is not afraid to admit that she prefers a shoulder to cry on, someone to sleep next to her at night, or a partner in love. She is single or in relationships as she deems fit, and chooses to be sexually active (and safe) with partners who she feels comfortable with. She decides when she wants to be physical, and does not do so for any reason other than her own. She does not get intimate to persuade her partner, boost her self esteem or succumb to pressure. She does not hold on to dead-end relationships, and always looks out for herself fist and foremost. In friendships and in love, she is not afraid to speak up when unhappy or discontent with a situation, and more importantly she is not afraid to walk away from anything that does not suit her.
In love, he does not give her heart out freely, but when she does she loves fully. She expects the same in return, because she will not settle for less.