Pissed

If you scroll up and down any of your various social media platforms, 2014 would appear to be the age of not giving a damn. But truthfully there is a whole lot of fronting going on in our generation. We minimize, suppress and disregard our feelings and those of others, throwing lovely labels on behavior we do not like – including but not limited to needy, crazy, etc.) We find it absurd that someone would need closure from a situation or require basic communication outside of a text message, if we even grant them that. We text, tweet, DM, and all sorts of other shit that when it comes time to actually talk most of us have legitimately no idea where to turn for genuine, true support. A phone call is  a nuisance, and a conversation spanning more than 5 minutes is way too much for us to handle. We are expected to simply move on, often without closure or understanding, and then we wonder why people actually DO trip.

Somehow being angry or upset today is so sorely frowned upon black women in particular actively try to avoid being the “mad black girl” – a label used against us the moment we display any sort of emotion. We never stop to consider that those who are acting out are not doing so without reason. Jealousy, lying, betrayal, fear, uncertainty and insecurity are all of these are real feelings that people deal with every day, yet we love to sweep them under the rug and pretend we are above it all just to avoid appearing weak.  Confiding in someone and disclosing your true self is one of the most difficult things to do, whether you are dealing with a break up, death, pressures of society or a sense of failure. If you are upset about legitimate shit like the current situation in Ferguson or the unruly laws protecting police officers I guarantee one person will tell you not to worry. If you just got cheated on you will hear “shit happens” or some variation of this dismissive phrase. Of course shit happens, but that does not mean we should become numb to how we feel.

I have a very small group of people who I can actually articulate real emotions to who I know will not write me off. I cannot be the only person who feels like smacking people in the mouth when they say that everything will work out. Sometimes, when I feeling low, all I want to be listened to, consoled and comforted, not brushed off. I want to be supported, and I believe the world is lacking in such necessary empathy. What is truly crazy is writing off the emotions of another as invalid and the inability to have conversations with someone else about being human.

I write relatively openly about dating and love, but I do not want anyone to front about who they really are. Nothing about what I do or say is about being cool, its about getting being authentic and truthful in your experience, wants and desires At the core of everything I write is my hope that millennial can be more transparent with both themselves and with whoever they may or may not be dealing with romantically or personally. My deepest hope is that everyone can be fully comfortable in sharing who they are no matter what the possible outcome, because life is too short to live any other way.

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New York based blogger in love with self-care, wellness and love itself. Always moving and striving to help women be their best selves. @soellaquent

2 thoughts on “Pissed

  1. Thank you! I know I see a lot of pictures and posts about not giving a damn everywhere from tumblr to facebook and real life. It does worry me for our generation and the next about how we’re bottling up our feelings. I think it’s just creating more ticking time bombs and will create more damaged people and bad relationships than anything else. Great post, will be sharing this on Twitter soon!

    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! You completely get where I am coming from with this one. This definitely cannot be healthy for any of us, and I appreciate your openness 🙂 Please add me on Twitter so I can follow back ASAP! ❤

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