I am naturally reserved, patient and submissive – qualities often associated with femininity. I am also a no-nonsense, in-your-face feminist that does not play games. Let me explain.
I am all about women doing whatever the hell they want, today and always. I am of the mindset that unless they directly harm myself or others, a woman’s choices are hers to make and hers alone. So long as she is not endangering the world around her, a woman can dress, act and behave in any way that makes her happy and should not be subjected to the ridicule of the outside world. Point blank.
I have not always been this way nor I am I fully healed from years of conditioning – I have been guilty of making hasty comments about a woman’s appearance or behavior from promiscuity, blind ambition or a hair style. It took me years to see that competitiveness and resentment towards other women in American culture is both supported and ultimately expected in all aspects of life from the workplace to romance, and breaking free from this destructive habit is no simple task. There are other women who prefer to adhere to the damning way of thinking that she needs to put others down to succeed (see: corporate hierarchies everywhere.) I often still find myself slipping back into judgemental tendencies from my teenage years, promptly forcing myself to stop before the words slip out and I revert back to my old ways.
Personal growth requires definitive change. As a result I am much quieter, though no longer out of fear or insecurity but to ensure my words are contributing constructive and positive value to this incessantly negative world. Though generally laid back and slow to anger, I have become more sensitive – particularly towards people who offer their opinions on women without being asked for it or get themselves off by bringing women down (a la Donald Trump’s presidential campaign.) I am a supporter, and therefore will not tolerate any degrading bullshit from men or women who insist on delivering their self-righteous critiques on an individual’s appearance or actions. This is not to say that people are not entitled to their beloved opinions but, contrary to what many milleinials believe, not every opinion is necessary or valid. Before speaking them into the universe, I recommend that we all take time to be more mindful of our criticisms, especially when it comes to things that do not personally affect us. I promise that you will find that when you expend less energy on useless things that do not concern you and more so on what actually matters, you are free to dealing with your own shit – of which I am sure there is a lot.
See list below of items that, unless requested, do not require your validation or input whatsoever:
- A woman’s appearance (clothes, hair, makeup, grooming, etc.)
- A woman’s behavior and character (introvert/extrovert/ambivert, loud, soft-spoken, profane, timid, secure/insecure, religious/spiritual/neither, independent, social, family-oriented, party girl, homebody etc.)
- A woman’s sexual preferences (LGBTQ, promiscuous, monogamous, chaste or born-again, submissive/dominant, poly, asexual, etc.)
- A woman’s decisions (single/married, employed/unemployed, children, abortion, birth control etc.)
- A woman’s past (we all have one)
- A woman’s feelings (for fuck’s sake just be quiet and let us speak)