The Princess Mentality

For as long as I can remember my parents have called me a princess. Now before you roll your eyes, this isn’t all bad, given that it set me up to believe I was of high value and deserving of great things in life. Simultaneously, however, it instilled a sense of passiveness within me – one that had me kicking my feet up for years and just waiting for good things to happen as opposed to going out and taking things for myself. This included but was not limited to dating, where I would just wait for someone to approach me and let things go from there. Ask a guy for his number? Approach a guy I thought was attractive? Send a DM? Ask a guy to take me out? Never. Because of course, that would make me a thirsty bitch. That’s the princess mentality hard at work.

At the core of this passiveness was, of course, a fear of rejection. When you are raised to think that you are extremely special, your ego grows. Millenials are particularly afraid of rejection, causing us to shy away from living outside of our comfort zones. We have all been conditioned to be so deathly afraid of rejection its crippled us to the point where nobody is approaching anybody. Going out is akin to a 6th grade dance where everyone is being shy, standing against the wall, waiting to be asked to dance. The internet is a constant battle of the sexes where everyone seems hurt and afraid to put ourselves out there out of fear of damaging our fragile egos. We are comfortable with being passive because blaming things on circumstances seemingly out of our control is so much easier than owning our shit. Our egos are on Kanye levels and pretending is at an all time high. I only wish more people knew that they have the power to rise above all of this.

One morning a few weeks ago, I woke up. I know it sounds insane but in that moment I realized that I was powerful and have complete control over everything in my life, even if at times it doesn’t seem like it. Everything I had previously worried about, people’s perceptions of me, all of the fear just disappeared.  Other people’s opinions, while valid, have no bearing on who I actually am. I am wearing my hair natural for the first time since middle school, dressing in clothes that I like for my body type and shooting my shot at any hottie that I want to get to know better without worrying about things that used to bother me – including but not limited to: Will he like me? What if he has a girlfriend? He’ll definitely think I’m easy because I’m approaching him first and not waiting for him to notice my subtle eye contact. Even if I go up to a guy and he has a girlfriend or god forbid  I am not his type or whatever, my life goes on. 

Men and women alike clown others for being aggressive and going after what they want but they are only playing themselves. Guys would rather go on Twitter and rant about how there are no good women than actually ask out the girl they have been crushing on for years. Women go to parties and sit on their phones the entire time, trying to seem hot and aloof while waiting for guys to notice them. Pro tip: Stop staring at your dry ass timeline and get out there. Contrary to what you have been told, its not about what you look like or what you have – its about caring less about others (in a non-narcissistic way) and realizing nobody else is going to bring you happiness but yourself. Go up to that cute guy at Trader Joe’s or that barista who makes your coffee every morning. Think about the worst possible thing that could happen. If you’re currently thinking “he/she will reject me”, then you need to re-read this entire article.

 

 

Graduation Weekend

I knew this day was coming for weeks. I was counting down, preparing myself emotionally, and giving myself time to come to grips with the fact that by May 18th I would be moving out and leaving Oxford for the very last time. I told myself that this was not the end per se, that all good things do eventually reach their end, and that it was okay to cry (which I did drunkenly at one of our favorite bars a few weeks prior to graduation during “Young, Wild, and Free”…no judgement.) Given my acceptance of the eventual ending of my college career and what I truly believe have been the best years of my life (so far), I thought I would be completely prepared once the day came for us to don our caps and gowns and participate in our final ceremony. I was not.

The entire weekend was a dream, one that I still cannot believe was reality. Given that the underclassmen had all left for the summer, the campus was a desolate haven for Seniors and their families. We owned Oxford, and we were basking in all of our accomplishments and glory. The happiness was palatable from Uptown and throughout campus. In true Miami fashion, we went out the night before graduation and it may actually been the most fun we have ever had. And we’ve had A LOT of fun these past four years. I filmed a video but I think I’m just going to keep that one to myself. Here’s a photo though.

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The evening before graduation, my best friends and I roamed the campus, revisiting some of our favorite places and taking some group photos. We visited our freshman year dorm on North Quad where our friendships began, very randomly and abruptly. We also stopped by the signature Seal, slant walk, and the Upham Arch. I got a little teary eyed during the shoot but luckily I was able to somehow keep it together. These girls have been everything to me and I do not even want to envision a life without them. Here is one of the shots we got. Yeah, we cute.

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Graduation morning was a blur. We all shook off our hangovers and got our apartment ready for our family and friends, who were coming from all parts of the country to celebrate with us. I proceeded to attempt to get cute for my parents who had just driven 12 hours to be with me, and in the process had no time to think about anything let alone dwell on my sadness of leaving. Between running around the apartment, leaving for Yager, and walking into the stadium in front of thousands of families, friends, and professors, it seems like the day lasted an hour though I know it was truly 12 hours of pandemonium. It is hard to explain the feeling of entering that stadium and the swell of pride I think we all felt in that moment. It was shock, awe, disbelief, and pure joy all at once. Having Forrest Whitaker as our keynote speaker was an equally unreal experience, as his words of wisdom and encouragement were beyond anything I could have asked for. We are an extremely lucky class to have had him speak to us on such a momentous occasion.

Here are some photos from throughout the day. I think they speak for themselves!

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I know that I have led an amazing life at Miami, and I also know that there is so much more for me to see and experience in my post-graduation life. I can’t wait to see where everyone takes their talents and how they utilize all that they have learned at Miami in their respective fields. We are all growing into adults, but I will always fondly remember us as the students who had the time of our lives while simultaneously absorbing a wealth of knowledge only Miami could provide for us. I now know that graduation day is not one you can truly prepare for, and it’s one you will likely never forget.

 

Broken Clock

Friday with my favorite girls 🙂 (at The Woods)